Since youths (pronounced yoothz) think it’s funny to regularly tell me that 32 years of life is “old” I have to tell them how dumb they are and that they are lazy and degenerate like I was told when I teased my elders as a kid. “32 years old isn’t that old is it?” I ask as I rotate my shoulder because it hurts for no reason. “I’m fit as a fiddle” I tell myself, instantly regretting having used an old expression and “I can…zzzz.” I start to say before I accidently fall asleep. Maybe, just maybe, 32 isn’t the new 18.
Thus confronted with the reality of getting older and presumably wiser, I must revisit the idea espoused by someone that I can’t remember (the energy consumed by my brain will require a nap) that follows the scientifically endorsed, generally accepted notion that everything changes. Everything changes is a motto that many would be well served adopting in lieu of clinging to the hope of the status quo. As much as it pains me to say, I can’t spend my $32 a month allowance as newspaper- delivery -boy -paycheck on $22 worth of candy and still be able to play 6 hours of soccer and basketball all day every day without straightaway dying.
Before dramatically slapping myself across the face this morning as I stared into my own eyes in the bathroom mirror for inspiration, I told myself that contrary to how awesome I am, no matter how nimble and attractive I am, I’m still getting older. Post slap, I realized, slapping is only worthwhile and entertaining when done to others. I also resigned to the fact that just like the 1980s; I’m unwilling to participate in the latest fad of mullets and Mohawks. The difference between then and now is that in the 80s I didn’t like the look, today; I’m incapable of growing sufficient amounts of hair (on my head). Things have changed I acknowledged to the guy the in the mirror.
Having said all of this of course, I hoped that I would make the greater point that much like Girbauds, barbwire tattoos and cocaine cough syrup, everything has its season. But we must take a closer look at where we are stylistically, health wise and otherwise and recognize that we must change constantly! Our wardrobes, our friends, our living arrangements and our eating habits!! Everything changes! When we concede that where we are is sufficient, we get stagnant. When we get stagnant, we get teased by yoothz! When we get teased by yoothz, we slap ourselves! Let’s not slap ourselves. Let’s evolve.